


Pull Me Through

by syntaxerroroftheheart



Category: Miss Saigon - Schönberg/Boublil/Maltby
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-07
Updated: 2013-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-09 09:56:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3245381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syntaxerroroftheheart/pseuds/syntaxerroroftheheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short scene illustrating the dynamic among Chris, Ellen, and Tam in the morning following Kim's suicide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pull Me Through

**Author's Note:**

> I used Amos Lee's song, "Violin", as a prompt for this work.

Chris opened his eyes. The events from the previous night flooded his mind. Kim was dead. Tam was his son. Chris's chest tightened and heart raced as he absorbed the gravity of it all. He closed his eyes again, willing just a few minutes of peace. Chris moved his foot underneath the blankets toward Ellen's side of the bed. Empty.  Tam squirmed on Chris's chest. Chris squeezed Tam against his body, hoping Tam would sleep a few more minutes. Chris could not yet envision how to explain to Tam that his mother was dead.

Chris's mind reeled as he wondered why Ellen was not sleeping beside him.  _Did Ellen go to bed with them last night?_ He could not remember. When they returned from the hospital it was close to 3am. Tam collapsed from exhaustion as soon as they arrived home. Chris remembered carrying Tam upstairs to the bedroom, but did not recall if Ellen followed. He wanted to slip out of the bed and find her. Chris shifted his body while moving Tam slowly from his chest onto the mattress. Tam squirmed, his eyelids fluttering open and then closing again. 

Chris walked into the kitchen. "Well, glad to see you're finally awake!," Ellen said as she wiped the granite counter. 

Chris looked at his watch, 6:15am. "Honey, I'm so sorry. What happened last night? You weren't there when I woke up."

Ellen inhaled sharply. "What happened last night? Well, to start, we now have a four year old because your--"

"Ellen, please. Please, don't do this. I need you now. I can't have you turn again me now."

Ellen squinted her eyes and shook her head. He locked eyes with her. 

Ellen looked old and worn. He probably looked old and worn, too. The last several months placed incredible stress on them as individuals and strained their marriage. Chris knew Ellen's pain ran deep. He tried to conceal his love for Kim, but could not keep it from Ellen. She was resolute to uncover his feelings for Kim and eventually she learned the truth. Ellen dug and dug until she found the exact piece of evidence for which she searched. That was Ellen's way. He always protected her from the information she desperately wanted. He could not protect her this time. Chris could not protect anyone from themselves. Kim was dead. Ellen knew the truth. Tam was his son. 

Tam rounded the corner, "Daddy?". 

Ellen turned on her heels and fiddled with the coffee maker, her face away from Tam and Chris. Chris scooped Tam into his arms. "Hi, Tam." Chris kissed Tam on then forehead. Tam smelled like Kim. Chris pulled Tam closer to him, unable to look  Tam in the eyes. "Where's Mommy," Tam whimpered. 

Chris knew that Tam was the window to Kim. Chris could not see Kim right now. And so Chris hugged Tam tighter, feeling Tam's warm tears stream down his neck. Chris buried his face in Tam's hair. "Tam, please don't cry, please don't think. Everything will be okay, I'll keep you safe." 

"I'm going out," Ellen said.

The door slammed behind her. 


End file.
